Monkey Boy!
Howdy Monkey Pic THE TEN BEST MONKEY SONGS OF ALL TIME!
  1. Monkey Man
    -The Rolling Stones
  2. Part Man, Part Monkey
    - Bruce Springsteen
  3. Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me & My Monkey
    - The Beatles
  4. Apeman
    - The Kinks
  5. Shock the Monkey
    - Peter Gabriel
  6. Don't Bang the Drum (Like Monkey's Do)
    - The Waterboys
  7. AbbaDabba Honeymoon
    - Eddie Cantor
  8. Mickey's Monkey
    - The Miracles
  9. Poor Little Bongo
    - Burl Ives
  10. Monkey's Uncle
    - The Beach Boys

Golliathon! THE TEN BEST MONKEY F LICKS EVER!
  1. Link
    -Alright! Elizibeth Shue gets naked and nasty with an Orangutuan! Excellent!!
  2. In the shadow of Kilamanjaro
    Hymadrous Baboons go apeshit. Timothy Bottoms saves the day!
  3. Morgan!
    Okay, so it's really just David Warner with a gorilla fixation, but come on, haven't you always wanted to do what he does to that little yappy poodle?
  4. The Ape Man
    Lugosi and William "One-Shot" Beaudine! Wow; so stupid and confusing you keep repeating to yourself, "I must be on drugs!" A must see!!!
  5. The Misadventures of Merlin Jones
    Wholesome Disney hijinks with Tommy Kirk and Annette Funicello. Tommy hypnotizes Stanley the chimp and exposes a crooked judge. So good they had to make a sequel.
  6. Monkey's Uncle
    The sequel I just spoke of. Tommy, Annette and Stanley the chimp promote drug use and cheating on exams! Typical Disney values.
  7. The Barefoot Executive
    Stanley the chimp's back and Kurt Russel's got him! A film ahead of it's time! By the way, Stanley had a longer career at Disney than Tommy Kirk, Annette Funicello or Kurt Russel.
  8. Goliathon!
    Hilarious Hong Kong Chop-socky King Kong rip-off! Albino ape acts like Jackie Chan; Evelyne Kraft runs around like Sheena of the Jungle on a budget... unbelievable!
  9. Congo
    Bad Amy! Bad, bad Amy!
  10. King Kong
    The Original... accept no imitations. Willis O'Brian rules!
COOL MONKEY THINGS TO DO WHEN Y OU'RE BORED!
  1. Feed the Monkey
    -Sure, you show no strength of character when you bow to cravings and addictions, but what got you hooked in the first place... it's fun!
  2. Spank the Monkey
    - Great stress reliever, exercises your imagination, where's the down-side? Here's a little tip... do it in awkward social situations and before you know it; you'll be the talk of the party!
  3. Monkey around with Stuff (Especially other peoples!)
    - Hey, if they didn't want it broken, they shouldn't have left it lying around where you could get your hands on it.
  4. Monkey Time!
    - Go on a sugar binge and enjoy that manic burst of energy! Be the poster boy for ADD!!

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Copyright Tom Wilmot, 19951996
10-Feb-96